Friday, 22 January 2021
Thursday, 19 November 2020
Anger & Controlling Temper
Source: www.gospelway.com
Anger, Controlling Temper, and Bible Teaching
"Be Angry and Sin Not." Anger and loss of temper are problems that all people face at times. With some the problems are habitual. Is it always sinful to be angry?
What does the Bible say about anger, wrath, blowing up, and clamming up? Should we vent our feelings to "get it out of our system"? Can we control our tempers? What guidance does God's word give in overcoming the temptations of anger?
Click here to hear this Bible study as an mp3 recorded message.
The purpose of this lesson is to study the Bible teaching about anger.
All of us have problems controlling our temper at times. Some of us have habitual problems.
Let us consider what the Bible says. Is all anger necessarily sinful? Can we control our tempers? What does Jesus offer to help up overcome the habit of losing our temper?
[I have been benefited in this study by counseling materials written by Jay Adams.]
I. The Relationship between Anger and Sin
What is the problem with anger? What is the danger?
A. Bible Examples of Acceptable Anger
Some people assume that Christians should never show signs of a temper. If a Christian raises his voice or becomes visibly upset, some people think or act as though he violated his duty as a Christian. Consider:
God is angry with sin.
Psalm 7:11 - Because He is a just God, God is angry with sinners every day. Surely God's anger is not wrong. It is proper, for it is even based on His justice.
Many other passages show that God is angry when people commit sin. He will punish sinners in wrath. If God is infinitely righteous yet is often angry, why should we conclude that people are always wrong when they are angry?
[Romans 1:18; 2:5-9; 5:6-11; Ephesians 5:6; Colossians 3:6; John 3:36; etc.]
Moses was angry with sin.
The Bible says Moses was more meek than anyone else on earth (Num. 12:3), yet several times he acted and spoke in great anger.
Exodus 11:4-8 - Moses predicted that God would destroy the firstborn in all Egypt. Moses was acting as God's spokesman, yet he spoke "in great anger" (v8).
Exodus 32:19-24 - While Moses was on Mt. Sinai receiving the law, Israel worshiped a golden calf. When he saw this, "Moses' anger became hot" (v19), so much so that other people could see that he was angry (v22). He spoke and he punished the people in anger (cf. vv 25-29).
Numbers 16:15 - When Korah, Dathan, and Abiram led a rebellion against Moses' leadership, "Moses was very angry." He spoke in anger (vv 16ff), and even prayed to God in anger.
Jesus was angry with sin.
Mark 3:5 - When Jews condemned Jesus for healing on the sabbath, He looked on them in anger, being grieved at their hardness of heart. Jesus became angry and spoke in anger, even when teaching. Did He sin (Heb. 4:15)?
Other examples of acceptable anger
2 Corinthians 7:11 - In obedience to Paul's inspired teaching (1 Cor. 5), Corinth had disciplined a fornicator. Paul praised them for their "indignation." Note that a whole congregation acted in indignation, even disciplined a member in indignation, and were praised for doing so!
Ephesians 4:26 - Be angry, and do not sin. Can we obey this passage? If so, then it is possible to be angry without sinning.
Not everyone who is angry has automatically done wrong. Some anger is justified. But note that every case listed above involves being angry at sin. Sin ought to anger Christians, but we must control our response.
Take care lest you conclude that people have sinned, simply because they became angry. Not all anger is sinful.
[Psalms 119:53; Gen. 31:31; Psalm 2:12; Nehemiah 5:6,7; Mark 10:14 - ASV]
B. The Danger of Anger
James 1:19,20 - Be slow to wrath, because the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Again, not all anger is forbidden. It does not say to never be angry but to be slow to anger. The problem with anger is what it "produces" or leads to.
Proverbs 14:17 - A quick-tempered man acts foolishly. Not all anger is sinful, but we must take care lest we "fly off the handle," lose control, and act wrongly. [Prov. 29:22]
Anger can cause us to sin in two different ways:
Anger can cause us to "blow up."
Some psychologists encourage people to "vent" their anger. If husbands or wives become angry, they are supposed to say whatever they think, because it "gets it out of the system" or "releases tension." They tell us to allow even little children to throw tantrums, scream, and call parents nasty names.
Proverbs 29:11,20
A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back. Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
The problem with anger is that it may lead us to lose control of our conduct and lash out at others with foolish words or deeds that are intended to hurt others and may be regretted later. By contrast, a wise man will control himself, even when he is angry.
The Bible teaches that our words and deeds are controlled by our thoughts. We must learn to control our thoughts and emotions, because harboring sinful thoughts will lead to sinful conduct. [Prov. 4:23; Matt. 15:18ff]
Ephesians 4:31,32
Not all anger is sinful (v26), but we should put away anger that is associated with bitterness, clamor ("loud quarreling" - NKJV ftnt), evil speaking, and malice. It is the opposite of kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness (v32).
Anger is sinful when it leads us to lose control so that, instead of being helpful to others, we become abusive, saying evil or hateful things intended to hurt them. Or we may simply not care about how we affect them. [Col. 3:8ff; 2 Cor. 12:20]
Genesis 4:4-8
Cain is an example. When God rejected Cain's offering but accepted Abel's, Cain became angry and killed Abel.
Cain's anger was wrong, first because Abel had done nothing wrong. Anger at sin may be justified, but Cain was angry at someone who was righteous. Cain was the one who did wrong and was upset because God did not accept his conduct. Second, his anger was wrong because it led him to harm his brother.
[Prov. 19:11; Rom. 12:17-21' Acts 7:54-60; 19:28; James 3:9-12; 1 Peter 3:9; Matt. 7:12]
Anger can cause us to "clam up."
Ephesians 4:31,32 - Anger and wrath should be "put away" from us, along with bitterness and malice. But instead of putting away their anger, some people just put it inside: they let it build up bitterness and grudges. They may not say anything, but their hearts are full of malice and a desire to hurt others.
Ephesians 4:26 - Do not let the sun go down on your wrath. Instead of letting anger build up, we should get rid of it. One who "clams up" violates this part of the passage. He may not lash out to hurt others, but neither does he work constructively to eliminate the cause of his anger. He just lets it build up.
James 1:19 - Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. Note that it says be slow to wrath and slow to speak, not "refuse" to speak.
Leviticus 19:17,18 - Hating our brother and holding a grudge against him in our heart violates the law of loving our neighbor as ourselves (which is also a New Testament law). To avoid this, rebuke him: talk to him about his wrong.
Some view clamming up as the only solution to blowing up. You don't say or do anything harmful (at the time), but you hold bitterness in your heart, plotting harmful things to say and do! Both responses violate the pattern.
In fact clamming up is often what leads to blowing up! The pressure builds till finally we lash out with cruelty and malice. When we learn to deal with anger properly, we can avoid both clamming up and blowing up.
Note that both kinds of anger tend to become habit. We practice them so often that they become ingrained in our character and very difficult to overcome. This leads to our next point.
[Matt. 5:21-24; 1 Cor. 13:5]
II. Ability to Control Anger
Anger can be controlled. Jesus was angry at times and was tempted in all points like we are, but He did not sin (Heb. 4:15). He controlled His anger, and we can control ours. The examples of Moses and others who were angry without sinning show that anger can be controlled.
A. God Commands Us to Control Our Anger.
Many passages command this.
Ephesians 4:26 - Be angry and sin not.
Proverbs 29:11 - A fool vents his feelings, but a wise man holds them back. We should not clam up, refusing to say what needs to be said, but we should control our anger: hold it back.
Proverbs 16:32; 25:28 - He who is slow to anger and rules his spirit is better than one who captures a city. You can restrain your spirit, and God commands you to do so.
Many other passages refer to this as "self control," an essential characteristic of Christians. Every passage that commands self control is a passage that tells us we can and should control our tempers (1 Corinthians 9:25-27; 2 Peter 1:5-8; Galatians 5:22,23).
[Gal. 5:20,23; 2 Tim. 1:7; Psalm 37:8; Prov. 14:29]
We can accomplish whatever God commands us to do.
God does not command the impossible.
1 Corinthians 10:13 - We do not face any temptation that is beyond our ability to handle, including the temptation to lose our temper. God will make a way of escape.
There is never an excuse for disobeying God. To say we cannot control our temper is to say God is not faithful. What we need to do is to look for the way of escape.
There is no excuse for failing to control our temper. God requires it and will judge us for it.
[Philippians 4:13; Psalm 37:5; Eph. 6:10-18; 3:20,21; 2 Cor. 9:8; Josh. 1:5-9.]
B. Experience Shows We Can Control Our Temper.
All of us do control our tempers, when it is important enough to do so.
Consider a mother who has a terrible day. The washer leaks on the floor, kids fight, supper burns, she breaks her favorite bowl, kids track mud on her clean floor. So she explodes, screams at the kids and threatens them. Then the phone rings and it's her husband's boss. Suddenly she is quite capable of carrying on a polite conversation.
Dad works on the car. The dealer gives him a wrong part, it won't go together right, then it won't run, and a wrench slips and splits his knuckle. He's screaming and using profanity. Then a car pulls in the driveway; it's the preacher's wife come for a visit. Suddenly he is calm and polite.
We can control our anger, when we really want to. If we can control our temper for the sake of other people, why not do it for God? God sees everything we do. Is God important enough to control our anger for?
III. Bible Principles to Help You Control Your Anger
A. Study the Scriptures and Develop a Plan.
Psalms 119:105 - Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Surely God's word will instruct us how to overcome anger.
Matthew 4:1-11 - Jesus dealt with Satan's temptations by quoting Scripture. Surely this approach can help us overcome the temptation of anger.
Make a list of passages about anger, then study and memorize them. When tempted to lose our temper, quote or read them.
Then, based on those Scriptures, develop a plan of action. This would include some or all of the points below.
[Joshua 1:8; Deuteronomy 6:6-9; Proverbs 3:5,6; 2 Timothy 3:16,17; Ephesians 6:17; Romans 1:16; Hebrews 4:12]
B. Repent and Pray.
A person who is not a Christian must repent and be baptized for remission of sins (Acts 2:38; 22:16; Mark 16:15,16; Romans 6:3,4; 1 Peter 3:21).
But a child of God who sins, whether loss of temper or any other sin, must confess the sin and ask God's forgiveness.
Acts 8:22 - To be forgiven, we must repent and pray for forgiveness. Some want to remove their problem without admitting it exists. God says confess it and make up your mind to change.
1 Peter 5:7 - Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. We should pray, not just for forgiveness, but for strength to overcome temptation. We should ask God's help especially when facing temptation.
Luke 6:27,28 - Pray for those who spitefully use us. That includes those who anger us. Praying for others helps us overcome our bitterness and develop an attitude of good will.
However, some will admit they have a problem and may even apologize, but then take no steps to change. Still more is needed.
[Proverbs 28:13; 1 John 1:8-10; Matthew 6:13]
C. Discuss the Problem with Other Christians.
James 5:16 - Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
We may also ask advice from others in overcoming the problem. Often others have had the same problem. They can help bear our burden (Gal. 6:2; 1 Thess. 5:14).
D. Avoid Hot-Tempered People.
Proverbs 22:24,25 - Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go, lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul. If you associate with people who regularly lose their temper, you become that kind of person. This is especially dangerous, if you already have the problem.
Associating with people who practice sin tempts you to participate. Associating with those who have overcome the problem helps you overcome it.
[Matthew 6:13; Romans 13:14; 1 Corinthians 15:33; 1 Peter 4:3,4; Proverbs 13:20; Exodus 23:2; Psalm 26:5; 2 Corinthians 6:14-18; Ephesians 5:11]
E. Think before You Speak or Act.
James 1:19 - Be slow to speak, slow to wrath.
Proverbs 29:20 - Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
Proverbs 15:28 - The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil. Don't clam up, but don't just pop off whatever comes to mind. Give an answer, but study on it first.
Force yourself to analyze the situation and consider the consequences of what you might say or do. "If I say or do this, will it be good for others, or am I just angry and will regret the statement later?" Count to ten. Maybe take a walk or ask for time to calm down and think. But instead of clamming up, set an appointment: a specific time to discuss the problem later.
Proverbs 15:1 - A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Note it does not say clam up and give no answer. Give an answer, but make it calm.
Being calm does not mean we must never speak in a way that expresses anger by tone or volume. The examples we already learned show that such anger is not necessarily wrong. But don't speak to hurt, get even, or antagonize. Be sure you are calm enough to say what is helpful. And if the other person loses control, then you speak in a way that shows you are under control.
This turns away wrath: not just the other person's wrath, but your wrath too! When one person gets angry and says something mean, the other tends to respond with something meaner. Then the first must top that, etc. To break the cycle, instead of attacking the other person, calmly say something to help him, not hurt him.
F. Work to Solve the Problem that Angered You.
This may seem obvious, but most angry people do the opposite. We may say we are trying to solve the problem, but really we are trying to hurt the person who angered us. Instead of attacking the problem, we attack the person.
First determine exactly what happened that angered you.
The issue is not who angered you, but what happened to anger you. Learn to distinguish the act from the person. Hate the sin, but love the sinner. Striking out to hurt the person will not solve the problem. Seek to destroy the bad conduct, while helping the person who committed it.
Note: some problems are not worth being angry over. Learn to distinguish serious problems from imaginary or unimportant ones. If the problem is not worth working on, it isn't worth being angry over. Forget it and go on. If it's important enough to make you justifiably angry, then use your anger to work on the problem.
Use your energy constructively to solve the problem.
Anger is a natural reaction intended to prepare the body for action. The question is: what action is proper?
* Blowing up and attacking the person who angered you is the wrong action.
* Blowing up and attacking an innocent bystander (yelling at your wife or kids because the boss chewed you out) is worse.
* Holding a grudge (clamming up the anger inside yourself) does not solve the problem.
* The only proper way to "be angry and sin not" is to use your natural energy to work on the problem.
Go talk to the person who caused the problem for the purpose of working out a solution.
Matthew 5:22-24; (Luke 17:3,4) - Being angry without cause is not right; neither is saying cruel, hurtful things. If you have something against someone, or if they have something against you, either way go talk. But talk for the purpose of being reconciled. [Matt. 18:15-17]
Ephesians 4:26 - Don't let the sun go down on your wrath. Don't just seethe inside without working on the problem itself. Go work on the problem. This applies on the job, in the church, and in the home.
Speak with genuine concern for others.
Ephesians 4:26,29 - Be angry, but sin not. Speak what is good for necessary edification.
(1) Say what is necessary.
Don't say just whatever comes to mind or whatever you feel like saying. Don't drag out all the old wrongs that were supposedly resolved long ago. Don't just talk on and on and on. Use "no corrupt communication" - no profanity, etc. Say what is needed to solve the problem. If it won't help solve the problem, don't say it!
(2) Say what is good and edifies and imparts grace to the hearers.
Speak to help, not to hurt.
[1 Cor. 13:5; Rom. 12:17-21]
Be willing to listen to others.
James 1:19 - Be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. Angry people usually want to tell others off and give them "a piece of their mind." They talk, talk, talk, but never really listen. This is not fair, not good for others, and does not solve the problem. We must be willing to listen.
Matthew 7:3-5 - Why behold the speck in your brother's eye, when you have a plank in your own eye? In speaking with others, we must consider the evidence that maybe we have been wrong as much or more than they have. Consider their evidence.
G. Apologize to Those You Have Hurt.
Matthew 5:23,24 - In order for God to accept our worship, we must seek reconciliation with our brethren.
Luke 17:3,4 - If discussion demonstrates we have been wrong, we must say, "I repent." Apologize. "I was wrong. I am sorry. Please forgive me."
If everyone who needs to do this would do it today, many families would be reconciled, many church members would be reconciled, many friends and neighbors would be reconciled.
Some church members have wronged God and the whole church in ways that are openly known. They need to publicly express their repentance to the whole church.
Conclusion
As with all sins, God does not just tell us what to quit. He also tells us what to do to correct our problem. Anger is often a deep-seated habit, but anyone can overcome it by diligent application of God's pattern.
Have you done what you should to be forgiven of your sins? Is there someone you have harmed in anger? Are there sins against others you need to make right? Are there known errors that you need to make right before the whole church? If so, do it today.
Note: If you wish to study further about topics mentioned in this lesson, please note the links listed below.
Sunday, 18 October 2020
Love Your Pigs or Jesus
Mathew 8:28-34
The demons know who Jesus is; v. 29 "Son of God."
They know he has absolute power over them to cast them out or not and decide for them where they go; Jesus is superior over them. They requested permission to go into the pigs.
They know that in the future they are appointed eternal torment and they wonder if Jesus came to give them that final judgement; v. 29 "Have you come here to torture us before the time?"
Jesus begins his global mission. He is in gentile territory; v. 33 "Those tending the pigs." There were herdsmen. Jews do not eat pigs; therefore they do not tend to pigs. These were gentiles.
A legion of demons is no problem for Jesus. There is nothing Jesus can't do, no evil he cannot conquer. All he has to say is "Go!"
Demons maximise their evil by entering into any kind of being to ruin their lives. From other gospels we read that the demons would make the men scratch their bodies with rocks until they bled. No one could bind them. They lived outside the town, out of civilization. They were living in the wild, treated like animals because they acted like animals. Their humanity and their livelihood were stripped away from them. Imagine the torment inside the pig's minds; they are only animals with no rational mind they cannot handle the torture and go mad and throw themselves into the sea to relieve themselves of the torture.
They couldn't have known the pigs would have run into the sea. Jesus knew. He did not let them escape for the misery the two men had suffered. But he had appointed them destruction and final judgement (without any habitation).
Two men were set free. Their lives and relationships were restored. Their humanity is given back to them.
The demons attempted to negotiate with God. Just like Satan asked permission to test Job.
The demons received their final judgement. v. 32 "and the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and died in the water."
v. 33 "Those tending the pigs ran off, went into the town and reported all this, including what happened to the demon-possessed men." What are the town's peoples' response? "Leave our region!" This was a test. Jesus was testing the gentiles. What is the test?
Prosperity over Love
The pigs represented prosperity to the town's peoples. It was their source of food and way to make a living. They cared more about their prosperity than the humanity of these two men. They still treated these men worthless.
Wealth over Life
They ignored the miracle. They ignored the fact that two men's lives were more important than a thousand or even two thousand pigs.
Final Points
Jesus is the Son of God
Triumphant over evil spirits
Liberates the captives
Gives hope to the hopeless
Jesus demands a choice; love him or your prosperity
Thursday, 15 October 2020
Covid-19 Conspiracies and Having Faith in the Storm
The pandemic has hit the Western world the hardest, mainly because of the mishandling of information given, distrust of the government and also greed. The mentality of some is putting the focus of 'wealth over health' rather than seeing the importance of stomping out the virus first in order to recover the economy. Temporary inconveniences are out of the question to the Westerner and his comfortable life.
He is not living the life he is used to. He may be living a harder life now because of the pandemic. I get it. We all are in this together. Business is shut down. You have bills to pay and kids to feed. We don't get to do the normal things we used to do. And the government is telling us what we can and cannot do. People only want to do what they like and agree with. They are selective in what they want to believe because if it's not what they want to hear they will choose the other information that they like better even when it's wrong and damaging in the long run. It's selective belief.
Tuesday, 4 August 2020
Virgins and Self-Control
1 Corinthians 7
Paul advised the unmarried Christians that if anyone is unmarried but hasn't yet reached the age of marriage and they're passions are controlled, it is better to remain single(v8) because then your only interest is to please the Lord(v32) instead of worldly things(v33).
In verse 9, he says, if they're passions burn for each other and they are not able to behave properly, in self-control of their passion for each other, then it is better they marry than risk fornication and fall into sin(v2).
I would like to add that for those thinking of marrying in their teens it is better if they both are determined to wait until they are matured and ready to marry, having their desires under control until then, but that's rarely the case. So it is always better to wait until you are capable of living on your own having finished your education before thinking about finding a spouse. But it is no sin to marry the one you love before that(v36). But it is more responsible and wise because then you will not be burned with all the anxieties and hardships involved in marriage and the world for a man in his teens.
Saturday, 1 August 2020
My Response to a Medium
Your argument on the rules set in leviticus as erased is untrue. If you know the Bible this is clear. Jesus came to fulfill the law of the Prophets. You first don't even have a clear understanding of the laws. Leviticus is the laws relating to the priests and Levites and to the forms of Jewish ceremonial observance. Leviticus is a record of God's installing a priesthood for his nation and giving them the statutes that would enable them to maintain holiness in his eyes. It now since had been fulfilled by Jesus and outlines as a part of moral law for Christians, not ceremonial law as it did for the Jews under Moses. Christians don't sacrifice doves because Jesus had fulfilled that. The morals are still there, but the ceremonial part is completed by Jesus. There's is no more sacrifice required because Jesus is the sacrifice.
Friday, 24 July 2020
Why did God tell Abraham to kill his son Isaac?
"Now it came about after these things, that God tested Abraham, and said to him, Abraham!' And he said, 'Here I am.' 2 And He said, 'Take now your son, your only son, whom you love, Isaac, and go to the land of Moriah; and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I will tell you,'"(Gen. 22:1-2).God told Abraham to kill his son Isaac because their actions are pointing ahead to the person of Christ in a typology of the true sacrifice. First of all, God says to Abraham to take his only son. But, we know that 13 years earlier Ishmael had been born to Abraham. So why would God call Isaac the only son? The answer becomes clear when we see what the Scriptures teach.
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