Love
1 Corinthians 13:5
"...It does not insist on its own way; it is nor irritable or resentful;"
Resentful in Greek means to count up wrongdoing. How many things can you find wrong in other people? How about your spouse? I know that if my colleagues knew more about me, they'd be able to criticize me. The more you know about a person, the more that person opens up themselves to you and trust you, the more susceptible they are to scrutiny and criticism from that person in whom they have put their trust.
When someone shares their whole life with you and puts their faith and trust in you, you have the responsibility to protect that information and not use it against them as a weapon. There is nothing gained but pride. When two people are emotionally attached to each other, whether it be mother and son or spouses, they are more sensitive to the criticism from each other.
Criticism
Criticism is also different between men and women. Take it this way, what if some stranger on the subway mocked you? If you're a man, you'd usually just shrug it off and get on with the day and maybe tell the guys at work about the situation something like this, "Well, you wouldn't believe this guy in the subway!" in a rather supercilious way. On the other hand women might get haughty about it as men do, but moreover women would always be hurt by the criticism. And think of it in this case as well; a man criticizes your wife or husband by calling them names. How would you react? Or how about (this is for the women) your husband got a call from his boss after he had finished his project and his boss says to him, "Did you put any effort into this?" and you know he worked very hard for nights on end. You made him coffee and he lost hours of time to spend with you and the kids. How would you react?
It also matters how well we receive criticism from others. Do you get angry and shout back their downfalls? That's prideful. That's saying "I don't deserve to be treated like this. I deserve better." But you don't! All we deserve is death because of sin.
Do you get sad and just go to your pillow or sit in the shower and sulk over how bad you are. That's also prideful. It's saying that you matter and your feelings are important and "nobody cares or thinks about how I feel."
In either case, when we receive or give criticism, both can be sinful. And we know criticism is always sinful. It comes down to the same core issue--it's sin. "How do I overcome that hurt?" "I want what I don't have." When it's right criticism, we act with pride, when it's wrong criticism, we act with pride. It's never looking at the "log in your own eye before plucking out the speck in your brother's eye." You've committed greater slander towards Jesus far worse than any person has treated you.
Do you compare yourself to the heathens? And what I mean is, do you see yourself higher than the unregenerate sinners? Remember, you are still human. You have a sinful body as they have. The only difference is that you have Jesus! They may spit on the word of God. But you are still equally sinful. You are equally guilty and worthy of eternal judgement in hell. You are no better!
The Focus: The Unconditional Love of God
The focus should be on Jesus. We are susceptible to focus on ourselves in any situation. How does this benefit me? How can I get back at them? What can I do to fix this? How do I get through this? What does this have to do with me? Why is this happening to me? I don't deserve this!
Make sure you can make the distinction between saved and not saved. Are you struggling over the idea that God forgives you? Do you feel so ungodly and you're not sure that you're saved anymore? Here's some encouragement for you; You are far worse than you can imagine! You are much more ungodly and wretched than what you know. The problem is you're focus is all inward. Give up on finding hope in your performance. Your hope should be in the unconditional love of the Saviour.
"I'm not swearing as much." "I'm not as bold as I should be." If any time now when the Holy Spirit reveals a new sin area in your life, that should not discourage you. It should make you stop and think, "Oh! a new area! Okay, I'm buckled in Lord!" And see where God grows you. (Emphasized by Todd Friel on Wretched Radio). The Holy Spirit is pointing out another area in your life. You are not more sinful. You might feel bad and think, "Gasp! Was I not saved?" You do not need to be freaked out!
"I need to mortify those things and put them to death." But you just looking at your works and sins are work-righteous! The more you walk with Christ, the deeper is your contrition. If your hope is in you, the smallest pin knife could take out your hope (Emphasized from a sermon by Paul Washer). If a person truly comes converted, they don't have to come under false condemnation of God, but the unconditional love of God. No matter how bad you do or how far you fall, God will restore in you and work in you and He will not stop to build you up. He will not break in a smouldering week. He will not put out! He has sealed you in His favour. Continue in righteousness because of what He did on the cross. Not because of how many sins you have or how bad you feel. But do it because you've been made righteous and have gratitude to serve the Lord in righteousness. Your sanctification is made by the one act of righteousness by Jesus. Not by your deeds. Your deeds are like a menstrual cloth when you offer it to God in your own selfishness. It's like saying God, look what I did for you! Excuse me? You did what? God did it all and once, once for all and once for all time (Hebrews 12). You must genuinely and affectionately connected to the works of the Lord. If there is no love (1 Cor. 13) and there is no faith (James 2), they are dead deeds.
How Did Jesus Treat You?
Let's look at the cross. I'd like to share something that Todd Friel, the host of Wretched Radio said, "The person who slanders you is not the worst human being on the planet. You are! That's the key!" Now that might sound awfully depressing. But it's realising that you are the problem. When someone says something bad about you. Your reaction should be, "Oh no!" and thankful that God used that person to show you another area in your life that God is revealing to you something deficient by the Holy Spirit so that you may be more in awe about how great of a sinner God has saved. The more sinful the person, the more glory God gets for saving that person. God pulled you out of a sewer. A filthy sinner like you, He put up with you for years and you slandered Him over a million times. And you're gonna get angry at someone who criticizes you? You're position is not to deal out retribution. Your position is to model Jesus Christ and how patient God was with you no matter how many times or how bad someone criticizes you. Do that and God will be glorified!
The Cross
There's Freedom in Forgiving Your Enemies
by Lee Strobel
1 Corinthians 13:5
"...It does not insist on its own way; it is nor irritable or resentful;"
Resentful in Greek means to count up wrongdoing. How many things can you find wrong in other people? How about your spouse? I know that if my colleagues knew more about me, they'd be able to criticize me. The more you know about a person, the more that person opens up themselves to you and trust you, the more susceptible they are to scrutiny and criticism from that person in whom they have put their trust.
When someone shares their whole life with you and puts their faith and trust in you, you have the responsibility to protect that information and not use it against them as a weapon. There is nothing gained but pride. When two people are emotionally attached to each other, whether it be mother and son or spouses, they are more sensitive to the criticism from each other.
Criticism
Criticism is also different between men and women. Take it this way, what if some stranger on the subway mocked you? If you're a man, you'd usually just shrug it off and get on with the day and maybe tell the guys at work about the situation something like this, "Well, you wouldn't believe this guy in the subway!" in a rather supercilious way. On the other hand women might get haughty about it as men do, but moreover women would always be hurt by the criticism. And think of it in this case as well; a man criticizes your wife or husband by calling them names. How would you react? Or how about (this is for the women) your husband got a call from his boss after he had finished his project and his boss says to him, "Did you put any effort into this?" and you know he worked very hard for nights on end. You made him coffee and he lost hours of time to spend with you and the kids. How would you react?
It also matters how well we receive criticism from others. Do you get angry and shout back their downfalls? That's prideful. That's saying "I don't deserve to be treated like this. I deserve better." But you don't! All we deserve is death because of sin.
Do you get sad and just go to your pillow or sit in the shower and sulk over how bad you are. That's also prideful. It's saying that you matter and your feelings are important and "nobody cares or thinks about how I feel."
You've committed greater slander towards Jesus
far worse than any person has treated you.
In either case, when we receive or give criticism, both can be sinful. And we know criticism is always sinful. It comes down to the same core issue--it's sin. "How do I overcome that hurt?" "I want what I don't have." When it's right criticism, we act with pride, when it's wrong criticism, we act with pride. It's never looking at the "log in your own eye before plucking out the speck in your brother's eye." You've committed greater slander towards Jesus far worse than any person has treated you.
Do you compare yourself to the heathens? And what I mean is, do you see yourself higher than the unregenerate sinners? Remember, you are still human. You have a sinful body as they have. The only difference is that you have Jesus! They may spit on the word of God. But you are still equally sinful. You are equally guilty and worthy of eternal judgement in hell. You are no better!
The Focus: The Unconditional Love of God
The focus should be on Jesus. We are susceptible to focus on ourselves in any situation. How does this benefit me? How can I get back at them? What can I do to fix this? How do I get through this? What does this have to do with me? Why is this happening to me? I don't deserve this!
Make sure you can make the distinction between saved and not saved. Are you struggling over the idea that God forgives you? Do you feel so ungodly and you're not sure that you're saved anymore? Here's some encouragement for you; You are far worse than you can imagine! You are much more ungodly and wretched than what you know. The problem is you're focus is all inward. Give up on finding hope in your performance. Your hope should be in the unconditional love of the Saviour.
"I'm not swearing as much." "I'm not as bold as I should be." If any time now when the Holy Spirit reveals a new sin area in your life, that should not discourage you. It should make you stop and think, "Oh! a new area! Okay, I'm buckled in Lord!" And see where God grows you. (Emphasized by Todd Friel on Wretched Radio). The Holy Spirit is pointing out another area in your life. You are not more sinful. You might feel bad and think, "Gasp! Was I not saved?" You do not need to be freaked out!
Life does not stop and start at your convenience. - John Goodman, film unknown
"I need to mortify those things and put them to death." But you just looking at your works and sins are work-righteous! The more you walk with Christ, the deeper is your contrition. If your hope is in you, the smallest pin knife could take out your hope (Emphasized from a sermon by Paul Washer). If a person truly comes converted, they don't have to come under false condemnation of God, but the unconditional love of God. No matter how bad you do or how far you fall, God will restore in you and work in you and He will not stop to build you up. He will not break in a smouldering week. He will not put out! He has sealed you in His favour. Continue in righteousness because of what He did on the cross. Not because of how many sins you have or how bad you feel. But do it because you've been made righteous and have gratitude to serve the Lord in righteousness. Your sanctification is made by the one act of righteousness by Jesus. Not by your deeds. Your deeds are like a menstrual cloth when you offer it to God in your own selfishness. It's like saying God, look what I did for you! Excuse me? You did what? God did it all and once, once for all and once for all time (Hebrews 12). You must genuinely and affectionately connected to the works of the Lord. If there is no love (1 Cor. 13) and there is no faith (James 2), they are dead deeds.
How Did Jesus Treat You?
Let's look at the cross. I'd like to share something that Todd Friel, the host of Wretched Radio said, "The person who slanders you is not the worst human being on the planet. You are! That's the key!" Now that might sound awfully depressing. But it's realising that you are the problem. When someone says something bad about you. Your reaction should be, "Oh no!" and thankful that God used that person to show you another area in your life that God is revealing to you something deficient by the Holy Spirit so that you may be more in awe about how great of a sinner God has saved. The more sinful the person, the more glory God gets for saving that person. God pulled you out of a sewer. A filthy sinner like you, He put up with you for years and you slandered Him over a million times. And you're gonna get angry at someone who criticizes you? You're position is not to deal out retribution. Your position is to model Jesus Christ and how patient God was with you no matter how many times or how bad someone criticizes you. Do that and God will be glorified!
The Cross
Kindness
Mercy
Forgiveness of sins
Jesus!
There's Freedom in Forgiving Your Enemies
by Lee Strobel
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